


Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep ( I Am Not There)

by BrightShadow



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman - Fandom
Genre: Alfred pennyworth and Bruce wayne mentioned in passing, Angst, Dick Grayson was a shitty older Brother to Jason and regrets it, Dick doesn't know how to turn the drama off, Gen, Grave visiting, Grief/Mourning, I've bitten the bullet, I've done it, My First AO3 Post, but no one knows yet, dead character is no longer dead, previous child death, previous major character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 08:41:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11802492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrightShadow/pseuds/BrightShadow
Summary: Dick visits Jason's grave for the first time and tries to get some things off his chest.





	Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep ( I Am Not There)

**Author's Note:**

> ~~I did not die~~

Dick feels stupid as he pulls up to the gates, parks his car, and gets out. Alfred gave him directions, carefully written on paper and slipped in with the homemade meals he always sends Dick home with.

 _I'm a cliche,_ Dick thinks as he carefully makes his way to Jason's grave. Put on your new uniform and go visit a grave! It's like something out of a scene meant to show the audience the character's _tragic backstory_ so the audience can know how _angsty_ and _brooding_ the character is.

But at the same time it feels right. In a dumb way. Dick knows Jason wasn't fond of cops but he thinks maybe Jason would get what Dick is trying to do. This way there will be at least one good apple even if the rest of the basket is full of rot. Bruce will hate it when he finds out, If he doesn't already know. There's no telling what Bruce is paying attention to these days.

Dick can see the grave long before he reaches it. A stone angel stands guard over Jason's grave. It's fairly large and even though Bruce clearly toned down due to where he was burying Jason it's still obviously much fancier than all the other headstones. Dick probably wouldn't have needed Alfred's directions to find it. He walks slowly, getting slower the closer to the grave he gets.

But he can only move so slowly without stopping and eventually Dick stands, awkwardly, before the grave of a boy, a brother, he barely knew. His fault not Jason's.

The overcast sky lends the cemetery a muted light that pairs well with Dick's sense of drama. In this light the lines on Jason's angel's face are harsher, judging. Or maybe that's just Dick projecting.

He's stalling. Dick takes a deep breath.

“Hey Jason,” Dick says, wagging the bouquet in an awkward little wave. He pauses a moment, glancing at Catherine's grave. There's already a large, rich, bouquet there but Dick still pulls a flower from Jason's bouquet and adds it to Catherine's offerings.

Dick turns his attention back to Jason's grave. “It's been…” Dick trails off. He sighs and rubs the back of his head, awkward. “Longer than it has any right to have been, honestly.” Dick kneels down to place the bouquet. Wet seeps through the knees of his uniform.

“Look at me, I didn't even make it into the building before staining it,” Dick says. He laughs a little. It sounds painfully fake, echoing in the silence of the cemetery, and Dick feels small. He coughs awkwardly. “Sorry,” Dick whispers. His eyes burn. This is _nothing_ like visiting his parents.

“I, uh, I brought flowers,” Dick says. There's a pause as Dick struggles to find more words. “Um, I don't know how much you would like them but I didn't know what else to bring-” Dick starts to blink rapidly. His breath shudders. -“I guess I don't- didn't know you well enough to know what else you'd like, I mean, besides-” Dick makes a vague hand motion encompassing the entirety of their night life- “stuff I can't really bring here, so…flowers” Dick says. He's about to get up when he has a thought.

Dick hesitates a moment then pulls out of his wallet. He takes out a few coins and forces them through the turf. It's not as hard as he thought it would be. They must have had trouble getting the grass to cover properly because someone put sod down. It's a very good patch job. If Dick hadn't knelt down he wouldn't have noticed. It's not _exactly_ what his father described but it's the best Dick can do. He doesn't know what good it will do Jason's spirit but Dick feels it can't hurt. Dick stands and stuffs his dirty hands in his pockets, shoulders tense.

“I-” Dick croaks out. He shakes his head and swallows hard. “I don't think there's much I can say-” Dick stops and bites his lip. It shakes and he clamps down on it harder. He needs to get this out. “-besides I'm sorry. It's not-can't ever be enough, but I am. I'm sorry I didn't try to be a brother.” Dick blinks rapidly and looks up. “I treated you like-like a teammate I was giving pointers and that was wrong. You-you were my successor and a _damn_ good one at that. I should have told you-” Dick blinks,tears spill and his voice cracks- “I should have made sure you knew you were a good Robin.” Dick whispers.

Silence reigns again and Dick stands there for a while more, waiting to see if he has anything left to challenge the silence with. The clouds thicken and darken overhead. He should leave before he gets soaked.

“Bye Littlewing,” Dick whispers. He heads back to his car. As he drives off Dick considers turning his car toward the route to the Manor. He thinks of Bruce. Of Alfred. Of the oppressive silence, the empty halls, and the untouched room across from his.

He takes the Blüdhaven exit.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos for whoever notices the Easter egg


End file.
